If the title of this week’s column sounds familiar, it’s probably because it is. Two installments ago, I wrote what I called ‘When a fight against corruption defies physics’, a piece wherein I looked at just how unbelievable some of the straits we’re in as a nation, focusing on our ‘fight against corruption’. But today, we take things up a notch, to look at the very shenanigans that govern and influence the emergence of a good chunk of the characters – future or otherwise – that populate the corruption landscape of our dear nation. It all begins with the shadowy creatures called ‘delegates’, that very special breed of politician influencer.
Delegates, as referred to on the Nigerian political scene, are chosen (a term I use loosely) party members who pick candidates to go head-to-head with other parties’ candidates at the polls. It seems simple enough, right? Well, when you add the Nigerian factor, it becomes a little complicated, especially now that they are even more potent than ever, a la a curious omission of statutory delegates in the Electoral Act 2022. Without the ‘super’ version, the elected delegates from various constituencies can do or undo, and on a whim. Whims which we know by now have been and will be influenced. You know, an influencer being influenced by those with even more influence.
Sometimes in politics, candidates emerge or fizzle with striking clarity due to some factors, good or bad. Logically, you would expect the choice to be hinged on experience, decency, and general excellence. But remember, this is Nigeria, where any parameters of reasoning or logic (or even basic common sense) are in serious short supply. In fact when some things happen on the political landscape, one is left wondering if it’s not the latest episode of ‘Black Mirror’, the brilliant anthology TV series which plays out ridiculous and scary social allegories via brilliant drama. In our case, it’s just a multiverse of madness (apologies to Marvel’s ‘Doctor Strange: In The Multiverse of Madness’).
During the convention frenzy, all over the nation we have seen or heard of all kinds of atrocities being committed by terrorists and other garden variety criminals. But the show, defying logic, went on. Fuel queues snaked all over the capital city, but defying logic, the show went on. Epileptic power supply plagues residents of Abuja and its environs, but…you know the rest. It looked to us ordinary Nigerians that the political class couldn’t care less even if the country was on fire in a literal sense. Their show went on, even as our collective miseries went on.
Back to the hardcore politicking, alliances have been formed and broken, old friendships have evaporated in real life and on social media – and these are even the softest of casualties. As the days go by, tensions will rise and vistas will shift. It is in all this that a proper leader who we deserve (for better or worse) will emerge. For now though, I remain candidate-less. Things could change, I know, but it’s still early days, and literally anything could happen (another Nigerian mainstay). However, like my ancestors say, a great Friday is evident from Thursday. And man, what a week it has been!
Given all these dark clouds caused by torrents of dollars of legend sprayed by political godfathers of supposed myth, I observed closely and was, predictably, utterly disappointed in both the process and those who facilitated it. Yes, as a human, I had a favorite presidential candidate. Full disclosure: he didn’t win the primary. Am I upset or disgruntled? Yes. Does that mean I will not vote come next year? No. I have a voter’s card, and I will definitely use it. A year is a long time, not just in dog years. I know I will find a candidate worthy of my support.
To be honest, I’m out of breath. The carnival-like atmosphere that enveloped Abuja for the duration of the two major parties’ extravaganzas became tedious and exhausting, and fast too. More so when you remember that not much came out of it but the physics defying approach to choosing future leaders. While I won’t say I enjoyed the drama (it was visible in spades), I wouldn’t say I detested it either. I’m actually quite indifferent to it. All I wanted was substance, and I got none. The aftertaste of the whole thing reminds me of how Americans have via popular culture shortened ‘convention’ to become ‘con’. In our context, especially in recent days, isn’t that what political gatherings have proven to be?
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