In my half-a-century-plus sojourn on this earth, I have never seen a year like 2020 – may a similar one never be repeated and may Allah protect us against its calamities. Nothing summed up 2020 for me than a 19-second video sent to me via WhatsApp yesterday (available via email). In the video, a young woman is seen with a sheaf of papers: first page bears 2016 (which she fondly kisses); then 2017 (same); then 2018 (same); then 2019 (same fond kisses). The next page showed 2020 – she made as if to kiss it, then realises what number it is and quickly reaches out for her facemask. After donning the mask, she proceeds to punch and pummel the year to her satisfaction. That, in short, is the global attitude towards 2020. And Allah knows best.
CORONA TO BLAME: Any and everything that happened to us in 2020 can well and truly be laid at the feet – or rather the spikes – of COVID-19. This nano-virus has done, and is doing, so much damage and havoc to humanity. Wuhan should be ashamed of itself. But thank God for the vaccines, and may Allah protect us from the suspected additives in every vial. Pfizer we remember from Trovan 1995 in Kano.
TASTE OF PRISON: For those of us whom Allah spared the trial of incarceration, lockdown was a real taste of prison. We of the myriad health challenges – arthritis, high blood pressure, diabetes, extra weight, advanced age – really locked ourselves down, and up. In fact, many of us mentally wrote our own obituaries and doing more Sadaqa Jariya in anticipation of departure. But we have crossed over, alhamdu lilLah! Phew! More sadaqa!
REST IN PEACE: 2020 took away so many friends and associates – in fact too many to mention. In the university here, we lost count. The school bulletin at one time was all of condolences and obits. And in town also, many died. May the souls of the departed rest in peace, and may we be spared for some more time, in sha Allah.
GOVERNOR DETHRONES EMIR: Governors, as inheritors of the colonial enterprise, are finding it easy to hire and fire traditional rulers. Kano’s Ganduje sacked Sarkin Kano Muhammad Sanusi II – and not a whimper of protest except the rantings of commentators such as this author. To add injury to salt, and vice versa, the Emir was first exiled to several places in Nasarawa State before finally berthing in Lagos; all within 48 hours. Kaduna’s el Rufai, Sanusi’s saving grace, was to execute his own abracadabra with Zazzau Emirate. KINGMAKERS of today!
MULTIPLE CORRUPTION SCANDALS: And Magu, of all people, was before a panel. The Presidency, perhaps afraid of a potential can of worms, failed to charge the fallen ant-corruption czar to court. Then came the big one: the NNDC scandal. Allegations, counter allegations, slumpings and faintings. It used to be Bow and Go! Now it is Slump and Go! And then came Maina of Police Pension, apprehended from Niger Republic. And yes, they taught him ‘Faint and Go’! And he did. And went!
NINE-MONTH STRIKE: ASUU went on a nine-month strike. It took this long time because ASUU failed to add a new strategy to its tactics – blocking the privileged children from going to universities abroad, and Our Ivy Leagues at home. As long as the children of Their Excellencies, Distinguisheds, Honourables, Worships and VIPS can fly to the US, UK, Dubai and Malaysia and attend schools without strike, so long they will leave behind our poor children languishing at home. And when they are done with Middlesex, they go straight to NNPCex. Allah Sarki Mu!
THE KIDNAPPING SCOURGE: The last time I plied Abuja-Kaduna road was four years ago, six years after armed robbers robbed me of my brand-new KIA car. I never forget to intone Allah-Ya-Isa whenever I remember. This road has now been effectively appropriated by kidnappers and other no-gooders; riffraff, uneducated violent marauders robbing, killing, maiming, raping and collecting ransom. Inna lilLahi wa inna ilaiHi raji’un!
KANKARA TEN BOYS: Our Presidency, no less, assured us that ONLY TEN BOYS were kidnapped in Kankara, Katsina State. Lo and Behold! 344 boys were ‘rescued’; 334 more boys as bonus. Although the ‘TEN SAYER’ has since apologised, it is something to remember forever. In fact, the same person had earlier ‘reprimanded’ already-murdered peasant farmers of Zabarmari in Borno State for not seeking ‘Harvest Permit’ from the Army – their death apparently self-inflicted. With an attitude such as this from our own government, we don’t need a foreign enemy to attack us. We are already under attack.
ENDSARS WAS LIT: Arewa shouted and screamed; no one heard, or cared. But a clutch of so-called activists took over a tollgate, and the whole world’s attention was on them. And the President himself spoke. And the budget would not be passed until…and a Tribunal set up for Truth and Shaming…and the agitators won. Meanwhile, Arewa continues looking for its TEN KANKARA BOYS and the PERMISSION TO HARVEST. Allah Sarki!
SURVIVORS IN CHIEF: Every stakeholder in our nation’s security, which means every Nigerian, has called for the sacking of the service chiefs as their services are no longer required. Except, that is, their Commander-in-Chief who so trusts these grossly outworn Defence, Army, Navy and Air Force chiefs.
TRUMPIAN MIDEAST DÉTENTE: All of a sudden, Arab countries are falling over themselves to ‘normalise’ relations with Israel. HAMAS has always been right – the struggle for Palestine must continue. Of all countries, Sudan and Morocco have fallen. While one is hoping mastercard would work in its country, the other is hoping that Trump would ensure they chew and swallow Western Sahara. No one should be surprised if Saudi Arabia follows UAE and Bahrain to welcome Benjamin Netanyahu. In fact, it has been reported he has already visited ‘our’ Holy Land. Al’a’arabu Ashaddu Kufran Wa Nifaqa!
AND TRUMP TRUMPED: If there were any silver lining in the dark clouds of 2020, it was the defeat of President Trump in November. Four more years with him would have made nonsense of all treaties and agreements; climate and peace. And Netanyahu would have taken the licence to continue riding roughshod to annex Palestine and Syrian territories (Golan Heights is the latest) as he annexed Al Quds (Jerusalem) with Trumpian Nod.
WHAT A YEAR: 2020 was a year like no other. May Allah make 2021 a safer and more prosperous year for you and us.
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